The year 2020 is a year none of us will forget, but for me, it is a year I will never forget not due to COVID 19, but due to the loss of my daughter Sophia. My name is Stephanie Maloney, I am 27 years old from Swinford in Co. Mayo. 

On 26th March 2020, my precious firstborn child was born silent, but beautiful. She was STILL born. The following day as we brought our precious girl home to Mayo preparing to bury her, the rest of Ireland prepared for the first-ever lockdown. The loneliness and anger that followed in the weeks to come led me to start my blog Smiling4Sophia. Through my blog, other mothers reached out to me who had faced this kind of grief and the stigma that comes with it. I listened to other women’s stories, and I learned that while our stories are different, we have all faced the same stigma from society and we all want the same thing, for our child to be remembered and for people to recognise the love and happiness they brought to us.   

We are mothers who want to say our child’s name without looks of pity or judgement, we want to talk about the hopes, dreams, and love that our child brought to us. This led to me putting an invitation out there for mothers to gather together to create a space that will focus on the pride and love we feel for our children that didn’t get to stay, it would be a space for all family members to visit and remember their little ones and a space that would combat the stigma that still surrounds baby and child loss. On 16th July 2020, The Butterfly Garden project began.

This cause is important to me because while I can visit my little girl’s grave, there are women who do not have a space to go to. Our mission is for future families to know they are not alone and that their baby will be remembered.  We hope for a space that will provide comfort to families who have faced miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal or child loss.  We know how hard it is to visit the graveyard and we know how badly we want people to acknowledge the little life that did exist. This community garden will be one of love and pride, it will be a space that celebrates our little ones.  

So, 2020 was a year that changed me. It was also the year I participated in the Vhi Women's Mini Marathon for the first time. I began jogging a few months after I lost Sophia, it was a way that I could release all the negative emotions that comes with grief. As a group, The Butterfly Garden family participated in the Vhi Virtual  Women’s Mini Marathon to fundraise for our cause. We were able to come together socially distancing while training at times, but as it was virtual it meant we could participate from our own homes also.  

We not only wore our Vhi Power of 10 t-shirts proudly on 10 October 2020, but we also brought our child’s teddy bear along with us. Our babies were with us in spirit that day, the bear was a representation of their little life and while we had to socially distance ourselves, it was a proud moment to see so many inspiring women come together, encouraging, and supporting one another. That is what the Vhi Women’s Mini Marathon is all about is not it. Inspirational women coming together, rising as we lift each other up.  

I will be participating for my second year aiming to fundraise further for our community project. It has been a difficult year to start this project but with our passion and determination, not even COVID 19 will get in the way of our project progressing and our babies being remembered. I look forward to another year of supporting one another and remembering the little lives that did not get to stay. #WeRememberYou